Certification for Health

So, I learnt about a new online nutrition course and became immediately excited. I was also eating pizza for breakfast which added to the luminous hum in the air. Obviously I need Nutrition Certification now that I know it exists and I assume the credentials of David “Avocado” Wolfe are impeccable. I can’t see any reason I shouldn’t become immediately certified.

Until I read the price. $639.20 (normally $799). So, wow. Fuck. Nutrition is obviously important but no, I can’t justify that to myself or my family. So the age old question “Can you put a value on your family’s health?” has been answered. A resounding “Hell yes I can.” before adding to whoever was listening, “something less than that.”

I’m left with two options if I plan to take advantage of the current nutrition bandwagon and the ready abundance of superfoods in the world:

• Begin a GoFundMe for the purpose of establishing sufficient funds to become certified; or
• Become the Nutrition Guru I always thought I could be and begin my OWN certification program.

I began setting up my GoFundMe account but the front page was full of people needing support through sickness, cancer treatment and some lady needed help burying her son. I’m not sure my desperate need for a healthier lifestyle really is warranted in comparison. Now I know people would have supported me and I would have reached my target but, I don’t know. Should they have?

Fuck you, Travis.

It was rhetorical.

So, with only one option left, I’m headed out today to find something sufficiently Guru-ish to wear in the promotional material. Everyone should begin saving, my certification won’t be as expensive as the Wolfe but nothing is free. Even health.

And can you put a value on the health of your family?

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